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With such a hectic schedule called life, there are days when I feel especially tired… and so when I finally plop myself in bed, I finally feel that I can get rid of this ‘tiredness’ and fall asleep into blissful dreams. But somehow, at the end of the day, when I’m lying in bed trying to enter this peaceful world, my thoughts like to secretly creep up upon me, and I cannot stop but think of all the things that I never had time to think about in the daytime. So here I am, blogging, because there are too many thoughts floating around in my head. I just can’t sleep. Not yet anyways.

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I think I have finally realized why this person and this situation has been bugging me for so long. After analyzing it through and through, I think I have finally discovered the ‘problem’. It’s the fact that this person thinks that they can consider whatever we have as something that they can control. Something that they can press “pause” when times get rough, and when things get better, resume the friendship and hit “play”, pretending that there was no pause in between. But in reality, things have changed. The people in it have changed. And it’s the idea that they can come and go into my life as they please that frustrates me. And yet every time this happens, I fall back into ‘normality’ when in reality, I shouldn’t. And so next time it happens, I’m going to tell them. Plain and simple. No more excuses. No more beating around the bush.

No more wasting my good night’s sleep thinking about these things… because clearly, they’ve “paused” the friendship. And that’s that. End of story. And as we continue on with our lives, there will be that one day when this person will want to hit ‘resume’… and I think it’ll be my time to just stop it all… because I know it’s going no where. For both of us.

 

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