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If there’s one lesson that we all have learned from being in a relationship, it’s this: the importance of open communication. But of course, along with everything else in life, it’s definitely easier said than done. And despite the fact that it’s not a secret, this is the one thing that probably every relationship struggles with the most. Perhaps if you poke and prod, I would reluctantly be willing to tell you what’s floating around in my mind, other than the lame excuse of “I’m cold/tired.” Yup, there’s definitely room for improvement on my end.

Anger. It’s such a raw emotion. Being able to see the -true- side and reality of someone. No facades. And although it can be used to some constructive advantage, it depends in what context, and how you intend to express it. With open communication, should come the expression of anger and sadness. But at the same time, what good is it if along with the expression of anger comes a dose of snarky comments? Instead of making the other person on the end of the line be receptive to the means of open communication, it might cause defensive retaliation and ultimately… anger on their side. And in the end, it’s a snowball effect where it adds an extra layer, which could probably have been dissolved.

So really… is it even worth adding it in, when initially, you’re intending for them to hear you out? You would think that after making the mistake once, that we would all learn from it. But perhaps, in that heated moment, we would rather express our anger for the purpose of defending ourselves in hopes that we shatter the other person… and as a plus, just hope that it would lead to constructive development in the relationship as a bonus. Who knows. Wishful thinking.

If the intention is to make anger as a means towards developing your relationship, what’s the point if all you’re doing is trying to get your point across? Is there really use trying to push your thoughts towards the other person? Why not be open to listening to their thoughts, although they may be playing devil’s advocate. It’s only then that you learn and grow within the relationship because it lets you see different sides of things. If all you’re doing is expressing your anger and limiting the amount of receptive feedback you’re hearing from the other end, all you’re doing is preventing the relationship to grow. Instead of true growth, all you get is destructivity and negativity.

 

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