We come into a world of not knowing. Not knowing how to walk… how to think for ourselves… how to take care of ourselves… but we slowly go through the milestones of learning those things. The firsts of many. And life, as we know it… is bliss. We wake up… we get fed… we laugh and play outside, rain or shine… and the biggest problem in life is having to go lay down for nap time rather than getting to play outside.
As we get older, our minds develop into our own. We defy our parents to spite them. We dare to try the things we dared not try before. We explore different things and different ways without truly having to suffer the consequences because we know at the end of the day, our parents regardless what happens to us, will help pick us up off our feet.
We get to that stage in life where you slowly see people (either directly related or who you know) leave this world… one… by one… by one…. and soon, you realize you need more than one hand to count them all. Life as we know it, is unpredictable. The only predictable thing is precisely such- that it’s unpredictable. Working in the world of health care, death is not uncommon. But it adds another layer if you’ve worked with them.. if you’ve interacted with them.. if you knew them personally. Because an hour ago, they were talking. A day ago they were walking. A week ago they were laughing… going out… and now?
Sometimes I wonder why we have to go through this thing called ‘death’. As social beings, we become connected in such a way, only to lose the people you love. Is that pain worth it? To see the people who helped raise you, from a helpless baby, to a teenage who didn’t know better, to now a grown up…only to end up having to bury the ones that brought you into this world…. To lose the people who mean the most to you. And to know that you’ll never be able to touch their hands.. the exact hands who worked hard to earn a living to raise you. But you’re left with the many beautiful memories which will never fade and be taken away from you… but with the silence accompanied with them. Is it worth it? To have loved and have had them in your life, only for them to leave you eventually? I fear the day I’ll lose my loved ones… but I think I would regret it if I didn’t make the most of it.